


Courage

by Ink_Gypsy



Category: LOTR RPS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-27
Updated: 2010-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-07 14:18:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ink_Gypsy/pseuds/Ink_Gypsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sean keeps his distance from Elijah, but not for the reason people think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Courage

[](http://s153.photobucket.com/albums/s213/lijahscribe/?action=view&current=CourageElijah-1.jpg) [](http://s153.photobucket.com/albums/s213/lijahscribe/?action=view&current=CourageSean.jpg)

> _Conan O'Brien: Do you still hang out with these guys?_
> 
> _Elijah Wood (nodding): "I went down to this last Comic Con with Dominic Monaghan. And I was just surfing with Dominic and Billy, Billy Boyd._
> 
> _Conan O'Brien: You went surfing with two of the other hobbit guys._
> 
> _Elijah Wood (big grin): You know what's even funnier than that. It was like three or four months ago, it was Billy, myself, Dom and Orlando, so it was three hobbits and an elf._

Sean turned off the flat panel before the end of the segment, but didn't get up from the sofa. Instead, he sat there staring at the blank screen, depressed by the knowledge that a decade ago it would have been four hobbits and an elf. Thinking about that produced a sudden tightness in his chest, and with the momentary physical discomfort came the cruel truth that it was never going to be that way again. He tried to convince himself that it was perfectly normal for things to be the way they were between them. Their lives had gone in two different directions, hadn't they? But he couldn't deny that it hurt to hear Elijah mention in interviews that he was spending time with Dom, Billy, Orlando and even Viggo. What hurt even more was the fact that Elijah never mentioned him.

He had kept busy after the trilogy, working in film and on television, even taking an occasional stage role, and while a lot of those roles had been less than memorable, he'd continued working steadily so he could take care of his family. He had also become involved in political and other public service projects that took up even more of his time. Sean imagined **Lord of the Rings** fans thought it was his fault that he hadn't maintained the same level of friendship with Elijah as their other cast mates had. They probably thought that if he made more of an effort, he could be spending time with Elijah now the way they were. There was no denying that there was some truth in that, but he also knew that his reaching out to Elijah again might mean settling for friendship. He couldn't haven taken that, not when what he wanted -- what he'd always wanted – was more than friendship. Much more.

Ten years ago, _much more_ could easily have been his. It had been Sean's for the taking back then, given freely, but he hadn't taken it. Not because he hadn't wanted it, but because he hadn't had the courage then to leave behind the life he'd been living, or the responsibilities connected to that life. And now it was too late. Elijah had moved on, and if he was as happy as he looked on screen, he apparently hadn't looked back.

Sean had tried not to look back either, but with much less success than his former co-star. Unable to give up his last, tenuous connection to Elijah, he continued to go to Elijah's movies, tried to catch all of his television appearances, but made no attempt to see him in person because he couldn't trust himself to do so. If he gave in to the temptation to see Elijah again, and if by some miracle Elijah's feelings hadn't changed, he knew he'd have to make that same choice again, and he couldn't risk it. If he did, if he was given another chance for a life with Elijah, Sean didn't think he'd have the courage to say no.

Sean turned off the light and went upstairs to the bedroom where his wife slept.


End file.
